Photo by Zoshua Colah on Unsplash
“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.” (John 15:1-8)
It may be Spring on the calendar, but no one told the weather. The last few days have been sunny, which gives you the illusion of warmth until you go outside and face the cold and wind.
I have been through seasons of life that felt the same. There was nothing outwardly that seemed to be wrong. There was no crisis, no gloomy clouds of doubt. But inwardly, I felt cold and blown by winds that I could not shake. In those times, it becomes easy to give in to introspection that questions everything. Just as you might question your plans on a cold, windy day, you find yourself searching for meaning in those seasons of spiritual winter. It is not despair, for we know that just as the cold of winter will pass into the new life of spring, our spiritual winter will birth a season of new life. But we struggle to make sense of such seasons.
I have learned to accept those seasons as a time for rumination and germination. It is a time to ask questions, but instead of forcing answers I allow those questions time to see what begins to grow and what withers away. Just as a gardener takes a seed and plants it in good soil, I plant my questions in the soil of a life having served a very faithful God. He knows His plans and purposes for me, and while I might feel like I am ready to take charge and be productive for the Kingdom, the Master Gardener knows that there are seasons of being hidden and germinating, becoming strong so that we can bear the pruning necessary to be productive in the next season.
The sun will shine, and the air will be warm and the winds refreshing, and what we have allowed God to do in our lives in those winter seasons will be rewarded with abundant fruit.
life
Another Year Comes to a Close
Another intern year comes to a close this week. For 27 years, my end of the year was defined by graduation. For the last five, year-end is determined when the intern class is released to their next assignment – missions ministry, vocational ministry, graduate school, etc.
That release comes this week. So, we are reflecting on the year and what we are taking with us, and what we are leaving behind. Sometimes it is just as important to know what you should leave behind as it is to know what you should take with you. I suppose this is a part of growing up, of maturing. The Bible tells us there comes a point when things we did as a child no longer have a place in our lives as someone growing up and answering the call to fulfill our purpose.
The day after the year closes, we begin our own evaluation of the year. We look at who is coming into the intern class, what their needs are, what worked well and what we want to keep, what did not work well and how to make it better, and what we will leave behind. “Done” always creates a new “To Do”.
Graduation 2021
This past weekend I attended four different graduation ceremonies at Oklahoma State. Considering they had five ceremonies, I was at a pretty good percentage of them. Some of the staff and students joined me at different ceremonies so we could celebrate the accomplishments of our friends.
I have attended graduation ceremonies for years. At Texas A&M, I had a certain section and a certain row I sat in. Students knew where to find me. There were years when I would only attend one ceremony, and other years when I would attend as many as six ceremonies. It makes for long days, but the accomplishments of the students that have been a part of my life while in college deserve to be honored.
The ceremonies are all different. Some have no commencement speaker. Some have the students walk in, while others already have them in their seats. Some receive their degrees in alphabetical order, while in other ceremonies the students are seated in random order by the college. Bagpipes and drums, bands, pre-recorded and live state songs, and the national anthem are also varied.
But the common denominator is that families come to see their student receive their degrees. Mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends all make the trip and sit in uncomfortable chairs in crowded arenas for two hours just to be able to cheer for two seconds for their graduate. Often I get a chance to meet them, and many times it is the first time I have met the family. I get to meet the people I know only by name for a brief moment before graduate and family head home.
I come away from the weekend exhausted many times. But it is worth the effort. It is worth being a part of what is probably our last shared experience. It is seeing the full cycle of wide-eyed freshman to hopefully wisdom-filled graduate. We will have shared many moments. I am glad I am here to share the final one.
Big Surprises Reveal Little Surprises
Kathy surprised me this week with a surprise birthday party (I suppose that is somewhat redundant). Along with her and the staff, she invited the guys from my small group, The Vectors. My co-leader, Warren, was a math major (he just graduated!) and started the group, so I suppose he had naming rights. Not everyone could be there because we are in finals, but the surprise within the surprise is that these guys wanted to come and have a birthday lunch with me. Being with these guys this past year and doing life together will always be a highlight.
Tick-tock, am I on the Clock?
Being self-employed means I feel like I am always on the clock. In truth, I am not, and have some fairly defined boundaries, but it still feels that way. So, it was no surprise when I pulled a list of all my saved-for-reading-later bookmarks and discovered a wealth of time-management and productivity tips. But, to be absolutely honest, each article may have a sentence or two that means something to me or gives me an idea I want to try.
Since January, I have been using Obsidian as both my task-management and personal knowledge management tool. It was a move born of necessity since I do not have the internet at my home and my freebie phone refuses to act as a hot spot (my phone is pretty much relegated to communication; everything else is in Obsidian). So, I have to do most of my work offline on my computer. I use Obsidian and a notebook to do most of my work (including printing out my notes for talks and lectures, which is pretty old school). I am still tweaking Obsidian, but I am committed to this process through 2022.
So, I need to go through these sites, pull the one or two things I want to retain, and then delete them. And maybe quit looking at so many articles on being productive and just go be productive.
A Deliberate Decision
Church is an appointed gathering of named people in particular places who practice a life of resurrection in a world in which death gets the biggest headlines: death of nations, death of civilization, death of marriage, death of careers, obituaries without end. Death by war, death by murder, death by accident, death by starvation. Death by electric chair, lethal injection, and hanging. The practice of resurrection is an intentional, deliberate decision to believe…
Eugene Peterson, “Practice Resurrection”
Resurrection tends to get the headlines at Easter, and rightly so. But the practice of resurrection is a daily, intentional, deliberate decision to be the people of life. That is not how we normally think of the church, but maybe we should. Church is not a place we go; it is a practice, a position, a belief that we come from in order to live and give life. It is the practice of resurrection.
Working in the RV
It is not easy creating a space to work in an RV. I am the type of person that needs a physical anchor for my work. I don’t mind working at a coffee shop or a library, at a kitchen table, or even sitting in the recliner and doing some work. But I prefer a desk, a place that is uniquely my own workspace.
Living in an RV right now means that space is limited. We had to make decisions about what furniture would be included and excluded. When we first moved in, we had a kitchen table for our meals and no dedicated desk. We soon realized that we mostly ate sitting in the recliners and rarely at the table. So, out went the table, and in came a very small desk for my workspace. It is big enough for most of my work and yet still fits into the scheme of the RV. I have windows for light and fresh air as well as for distracted contemplation (there is no one next to us right now, and the window looks out on woods and fields).
It may not be optimal, but it makes my working in the RV more productive for this season of life.
The Ladder of Success
Thomas Merton, the American monk, pointed out that we may spend our whole life climbing the ladder of success, only to find when we get to the top that our ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.
Richard Rohr, “Falling Upward”